At The Heart Of The Matter (An Exercise in Self-Love)

Posted on February 20, 2012 by admin

My mother once told me that you need to open up your hand to give, but must keep it open to receive. As women, we are natural nurturers. We own the hands that keep on giving – to our families, friends, work, etc. – that’s who we are. But how often do we become depleted, shut down and withdraw before we give to ourselves? Let’s get to the heart of the matter…

Did you know that the heart is the hardest working muscle in the body? Whether you did or not, what we all have come to learn is that we need to eat heart-healthy foods such as an assortment of fruits and vegetables, and foods high in Omega-3 fatty acids like salmon and walnuts to name a few. We also know that we need to engage in some form of aerobic activity on a regular basis to have a healthy heart. Whether it be walking, running, swimming, dancing, or whatever gets you moving – exercising is vital in keeping all of our muscles in shape, including the heart. Mix in a bit of R&R (rest and relaxation) and one could say that these are good examples of practicing self-love.

How about listening to our hearts or, rather, WITH our hearts in order to receive? Yes, we can hear our hearts beating when we pause to listen. But truly listening with our hearts (not the noise in our heads) to guide us in choosing what is best for us, I believe, is an act of self-love.

Tuning into our built-in radar systems, learning to feel what is right, and be guided by your instincts. For so many women, even finding the time to meditate can cause anxiety because we’re all so pressed for time! Let’s turn to our bodies for a practical, yet, effective exercise in becoming clear about how to begin tuning in: practicing good posture!

Whether sitting at your desk or walking to an appointment, check in, steal a glimpse of your reflection in car window or mirror. Inhale deeply and watch your chest lift and expand as you draw your shoulder blades closer together. Work it ladies! Take another big breath and feel your chest open. Continue to practice this exercise and you will literally lighten up, mentally and physically!

When your chest is open, you open up your heart and your radar. Yes, you become more vulnerable, but you also open up to yourself. Just as you need an open palm to receive you need an open heart to give love – to yourself!

 

What moves you?

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Women Inspire Women

Posted on September 23, 2011 by admin

Is there a woman out there who is not on the lookout for inspiration and tips on everything beauty, balance, body, baby? As a woman in the health, wellness and fitness field, I’m always listening to what Jillian Michaels of The Biggest Loser has to say. And while everyday is another opportunity to make the right choices in what I eat and how I move, the part of me that continually navigates the balance between motherhood and career choices totally enjoyed Jillian’s interview with Rita Wilson – actress, producer, writer and mother; another savvy woman who inspires me!

I am moved to share this inspirational interview with you! Read on as Rita speaks candidly about her choices in life, listening to her instincts, her most important role and lessons she’s learned along the way…

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What’s Cooking?

Posted on September 5, 2011 by admin

There’s been a whole lot of ground shaking and things a-flying going on. As I live in the northeast, I’m not only referring to the recent earthquake and hurricane, but also my 18 year-old son – my oldest child – moving out and moving on, all within a week! I’d been saying I needed a change. I even considered relocating to another part of the country, but like mother earth going through her changes, I noticed these changes reflecting within me.

Over the past two years, between splitting with my husband to spending more time and energy working outside the home, I found it difficult to devote my time to cooking the homemade meals my family had grown accustomed to. My kids complained about the increase in takeout and frozen (though organic!) dinners. Juggling home, work and single motherhood took on a life of its own and the home cooked meals we savored, along with our family time together, diminished. Even our cherished Friday family game nights, which we enjoyed religiously for over 10 years, had become obsolete. These days we play a game of “catch me if you can” to get family time. I anticipated my son moving out, but thinking about this next stage of my family’s growth has been a bit unsettling. We are a family in flux and, believe me when I say, “resistance is futile!”

My work naturally eases up in the summertime and I usually can relax and rejuvenate as I plan what’s next. With the changes going on around me I found it difficult to stay focused. I began looking through my recipes, making more trips to the farmer’s market and enjoying planning my meals around the fruits and veggies in season! I have always been passionate about preparing delicious, nutritious food for my family; from making my shopping list, handling and smelling the fresh produce, to knowing that we were enjoying good, healthy food! But now I was cooking to escape. I realized it was, and is, a creative diversion. Washing, chopping and cooking the ingredients together is a meditative exercise for me; a relaxing activity to engage myself in the moment – helping me to relieve stress, lift my spirits, feed my body and soothe my soul.

Life’s changes and challenges can be draining, mentally and physically. We all need time away to avoid burnout and take a break to recharge. We can even grow weary and tire from an over-active social life. There are times when doing nothing can revive us, but when doing nothing at all won’t do, create a diversion! So as I go and prepare my watermelon, cucumber and feta cheese salad for lunch…

 

What moves you?

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How Did I Get Sunburn?

Posted on July 7, 2011 by admin

One sunny day, not to long ago, I set off for the beach with a girlfriend – without our kids! This was a first for us and we each packed goodies to share. I made a light pasta salad with fresh veggies, and packed some fruit and chips. My girlfriend, Liza, brought sandwiches and more fruit with cheese and crackers. We had an umbrella, beach chairs, reading material and, of course, our little coolers of wine to indulge ourselves with no one else to take care of. Between us we did not miss a thing. We made up for not having our kids around because, by the way we were acting, we were the kids!

One thing I forgot to pack, though, was my sunscreen. I have had my share of sunburns, mostly in my teenage and early adult years. Having fairly light skin I learned pretty quickly to use sunscreen; just enough for a bit of color and eliminating that dreaded red hot stinging, can’t move kind of sunburn pain that most of us have experienced at one time or another. By my 30’s I became skilled at using the self-tanning products with an spf, and incorporating them into my summertime ritual; apply while naked with disposable rubber gloves, wait 20 minutes before dressing. I was able to sport a glowing tan during the summer months without having to suffer any pain or further sun damage.

My girlfriend and I ate, chatted, drank and snoozed. For the most part we sat under the umbrella, but not all of me was protected. I was exposed, to the sun, from my knees to my toes. The only respite my legs had was when I took a dip in the water, and then lay on my stomach while I dried off. On the way home I began feeling the burn and later that night I was sick. The next morning I could barely walk. How did I allow myself to get sunburned? In my excitement I broke my routine and suffered dearly. My legs were red and swollen for days.

It was painful to the touch but I tried dabbing my legs with a cotton ball soaked in white vinegar. This was only temporarily soothing. Besides taking advil, I didn’t know what to do. Friends of mine did some energy healing on “cooling” my legs. It truly worked but, again, it was a temporary relief; as soon as they stopped I began feeling the burn. I had heard of using oatmeal compresses for sunburn and decided to give this a try. I found the compresses to be soothing, cooling and using them was the turning point in my healing. I cringe at the thought of anybody else suffering severe sunburn, so if you can find relief with this remedy, it’s easy to do:

1 cup oatmeal (instant or old-fashioned); finely grind and make a paste with water; sit in bathtub and fill with cooling water and gently wash off to finish. Take your time and enjoy the soak while your at it. Moisturize afterwards, and continuously, because the peeling will not be as bad. Trust me, I know because it happened to me!

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What moves you?

 

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Rhythm Of My Life Right Now

Posted on June 26, 2011 by admin

Rhythm For LifeAs I am just coming out of this past month’s whirlwind of both of my kids proms, graduations, recitals and award dinners, the rhythm of my own life is chock full of some very blog-worthy material, but the truth is, I feel out of sync with living these highlights and putting them into words. As I navigate all of these milestones in my kids’ lives, and juggling work and life as a single mother, I admit I have been a bit overwhelmed.

Each of us operates to the beat of our own drum, and just like snow flakes, there are no two alike. But as I notice what works and what doesn’t work for me, I can’t help but wonder how other single, working moms operate – especially mompreneurs – while managing a household, making sure our kids eat well, wear clean clothes, participate in social activities, AND keep ourselves feeling good – all while doing it solo?

When my son was a baby, a wise mom friend once told me, “just when you think you’ve got their routine worked out, they change it on you.” My life has changed drastically over the past couple of years along with my old way of operating. I am presently tuning into a new way of being as I go through the challenges of developing a new system that supports where I am and where I am going. So as I seek to find a new outer rhythm that resonates with my shifting inner rhythm I ask, how have you found your flow in tending to your work/kids/home/self. This inquiring mom wants to know…
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What moves you?

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“Best You” Was The Best!

Posted on May 26, 2011 by admin

I had the honor of being a presenter at the Best You Retreat this past weekend in Newport, Rhode Island. Leaving cloudy, cool and rainy New York, to arrive in warm and sunny Newport was truly a metaphor for what was to come. As I opened the door and walked into my room at the Newport Blues Inn it hit me – no kids, no dog, nothing pulling me to clean or fix. Nothing or nobody to take care of – except for myself! I immediately began to think of what I could do first; watch TV, relax outside on the porch, take a walk or simply read the book I’ve yet to begin. I plopped on the bed staring out the window and I couldn’t move. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t do anything. I simply lay there for 3 hours! The retreat had begun.

The “Best You” was created by Ellen Palmer Wellness, for women, especially us moms who so often put our families needs first. As moms we’re doing, doing, and doing some more, we’re too pooped to care about ourselves! As a mom I can relate. How can we possibly expect, and be expected, to feel great, look good, be happy and make everyone else feel happy, healthy and safe when we are depleted? Being a mom herself, Ellen Palmer took the initiative and put together a weekend full of tips and treats for all the participants to indulge in themselves.

Friday night’s reception was warm and welcoming with local wines and fresh fruits, cheese and veggies. There was a real sense of bonding as we eased into the retreat. The next day we enjoyed everything mind, body and soul as we were joined by more women craving “me” time. Ellen’s presentation and insight on how food affects how we look, how we feel, and even how the food we eat affects our emotional state. I especially liked when Ellen said, “You are what you eat and you are what your food eats.” Take a moment to digest that!

Then Lisa Zaccheo, of Mind Matters, walked us through how our beliefs affect our thinking, which affects our feelings, which affects our behavior. We then let our fingers do the walking as Lisa led us through body tapping, or EFT. I had done this before but found Lisa’s guided tour thorough and enlightening. Then it was time to get out of our heads and connect to our bodies with nurturing, feminine movement. This is where I came in.

Perhaps the mini massage, detoxing bio mat session and body tapping combination put me in a zen state. My series of relaxation exercises had been cut due to circumstances beyond my control. I was truly engaged and present all day, but suddenly I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience! I was thrown off a bit and I knew I had to get us moving. As we swayed, ungulated and shimmied, I began to reconnect and ground myself in my own body. As I led the group I watched them begin to connect, like me, embracing the movement and their feminine power. I witnessed their beauty in the joy of dance, their smiles, and their willingness to open up and let go. And that, for me, was the best!

What moves you?

Photos by Paul E. Talbot

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Radio Interview

Posted on May 3, 2011 by admin

Listen to my live interview with Eric Michaels on eHealth Radio, http://bit.ly/kMYQsI as I discuss and answer the following:

* What is Rhythm For Life?

*  How does dance help to celebrate and empower women?

*  What is Maternal Dance and how did this program come about?

*  What are the benefits of this class for moms-to-be?

*  Tell us about The Prenatal Belly Dance Workout DVD.

I invite you to share what moves you…

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What is your Passion?

Posted on April 17, 2011 by admin

Ever since I began reading The New York Times way back when, I couldn’t wait to get a glimpse of the photographs in the Style section. The society photos and “On the Street” column were my favorites. I always enjoyed looking at the fashion in these photos but never thought about who was behind the camera. It all came together for me when I saw Bill Cunningham New York.

If, like me, you have made it a weekly ritual to soak in these photos, if you have a passion for fashion, or simply want to experience someone who does for inspiration, don’t miss this film while it’s still floating around.

Beyond getting a glimpse of the man, I was taken by how he lived his passion. His passion became his sole purpose in life. This made me connect to my own passion; the feeling I get when I dance, choreograph and teach dance, whether I’m teaching elementary school kids in an after school program, salsa to seniors, or dancing with my expectant moms, I go into a zone that speaks directly to my soul. I knew what I was passionate about very early in my life, but it took me a long time before I would embrace it as my life’s purpose:

“That was so much fun! I am so happy! Why do we have to go now? That was the best time I ever had. I danced and danced the whole time we were there. I don’t want to go. In the car driving home it’s so dark and I know it’s late, but I keep hearing the music in my head and how much fun I had dancing. Everyone at the party was dancing and laughing and having so much fun. I loved it! I want to do it again. Leaving Nanny and Grandpa’s house that night I knew what true happiness was – I was three years old.”

What moves you?

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Moving Into Spring – Mind, Body, Soul

Posted on March 20, 2011 by admin

Spring 2011

The opportunity for rebirth, renewal, and rejuvenation comes with every spring. I walked around a neighborhood park and caught a glimpse of little buds on trees, sprouting of the tulips, and a new burst of energy here in the NYC streets.

As I bask in this spring tease, having shed the armor that is the winter coat, I begin to notice how my body responds. Quite organically my body begins to awaken from its winter slumber. It wants to stretch and expand from the contracted posture it held in winter. You know how when it’s frigid outside and you’re all bundled up under layers of material? In protective mode as you walk outside, your body immediately cowers to the winter elements of cold wind, ice and snow. Your shoulders lift a little higher towards the ears, and roll slightly forward to protect your chest as your back rounds a bit. We find ourselves hunched down into our heavy winter gear. Our winter posture sets in without a second thought.

Spring is in the air, at least for today, and it got me thinking about how we move into a new season. Without the heaviness of the winter coat, scarf, hat, etc., to protect us, we literally begin to ‘lighten up.’ We consciously throw off all the heavy gear and break out of our shells to soak in the warmth and light of the sun, breathe in fresh air, and unconsciously put a spring in our step. The lightness with which we begin to carry ourselves directly affects us mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We truly feel better.

As you head out to catch a bit o’ spring, notice how your body responds to the changes of clothing, weather, in nature and within yourself. We align to the rhythm of the earth’s cycle and have, yet, another opportunity to reconnect to our own rhythm; how we feel, and where we want to go with the possibilities ahead. We have a few more weeks of jump-starting our personal renewal as spring plays hide-n-seek with winter. After having been sick in bed twice this year when I rarely get sick, I, for one, am taking note of how my body is loving the light(ness). And what’s good for the body is food for the soul!

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What moves you?

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Plan A, Plan B, What Plan?

Posted on March 8, 2011 by admin

The Armory Track, Rhythm For Life

When my alarm went off early on a recent Saturday morning, I was so tempted to stay in bed and miss my son, Ivan’s, morning race at his track meet. I began excusing myself by thinking how this was the first day in a long time that I could actually linger in bed, and not getting a very good night sleep made it that much more tempting to sleep in. I also had so much work to do but arranged to get back to that later in the day. The truth is, I haven’t been to any of Ivan’s indoor races this season as my schedule always seemed to conflict with his meets. Being there to support him was extremely important to me so I, well, stopped the mental chatter and got myself moving!

Making our way uptown I noticed that it was actually a perfect day to be indoors as it was cold and windy outside. I felt good about dedicating most of my day to my son, especially because our time together had begun to decline rapidly ever since he became a teenager. I was acutely aware of this and soaked in every moment of our time together. He informed me not to be insulted if he didn’t speak to me on the way; his ipod had his attention. Insulted? No way! Tuning into my own ipod, I felt flattered that he had the courtesy to let me know not to take it personally.

We arrived at The Armory in NYC well before his first race. I settled into my seat and began scanning my emails as Ivan went to check in. He soon came back only to say he had some bad news: his first race was pushed back four and a half hours later than scheduled. Add the hour and a half he needed to warm up and get ready for his race – a six more hours until race time. I sensed his disappointment, more for me than for him. Images of my bed came over me, but only for an instant. My son felt bad and told me that I could leave if I wanted to. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was there for the both of us now.

Plan A didn’t work out so on to plan B. I would catch up on my never-ending list of emails while we waited. I felt quite satisfied with myself, even a bit smug knowing I was going with the flow. I very often share with my clients, especially my new and expectant moms, ‘Just when you think you’ve got a schedule down they change on you, so go with the flow.’ I wasn’t just talking the talk I was living it right now, only this new plan proved to have an unforeseen flaw. My blackberry was dying and I had no charger. This wasn’t possible. Oh, why did I get out of my warm, cozy bed this morning? I couldn’t just sit here for six more hours and do nothing! I adapted quickly with good old fashion paper, and with pen in hand, got to work.

Ivan beat his personal best record on that day and I was there to see him in action. My work is important but my son ultimately comes first. I realized that by giving in to what I was basically trying to control, I gave space to go with the rhythm of the day. I was given the opportunity to be reminded of what, or who, is most important in my life. My beautiful boy, who is almost a man, needed to see through my actions that all of my “stuff” is secondary to him.

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What moves you?

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